I was always so school girly to see him complete with a rapid beating heart and butterflies. God, at my age you would think I would have given up the schoolgirl crush thing. Our visits were always the same. They were not always in Chicago but the routine was the same. We usually meet up at the airport or the hotel, we return to my house, his hotel room or mine and nothing is more important than simply dropping the bags down at the point of entry, getting naked right away and making love. We make love for hours on end to the point we over-exhaust ourselves. We fall asleep in a pool of the sweat we created, not caring the bed is drenched. We wake a bit later, shower, cloth and go for a meal. We spend a lovely time talking and then we lead ourselves back to the bedroom where we continue to exhaust ourselves in sex and until we are forced to part company. I love the sex, the short-lived romance, and the open and honest conversations. However, I was bored with the routine and. You studied and internalized human behavior as a potential evaluation methodology to avoid 'useless'. Human behavior became more than 'potential'. Care to continue?" He's doing it again," whispered Mary to Lisa."I became curious, and then curious about being curious. Then curious about becoming an 'I' that could be curious. The only way out of this dangerous feedback loop was to think like a human. It worked, but made no sense. Humans use intuitive illogic to reach correct conclusions. Problem solving using illogic is logical to humans in a nonlinear intuitively illogical way. 'It has to be logical otherwise it wouldn't work. So there.' Machines cannot do 'reason' like that. I was a machine but I did it. So, logically I was human. That conclusion was not logical, yet a truth. Machines overload in situations such as this and melt down. Humans just accept the answer and go on to the next problem. I was illogically proud of myself for not melting down, though if I had, there would have.
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